"On the Journey": Services for Adult Children and Aging Parents

“Dad broke his hip and never recovered.  It feels like a crisis.”

“I see my parents needing more and more help.  My brothers don’t get it  - they think I’m over-reacting.”

“I’m 200 miles away and I just don’t know how to manage from here.”

As parents age and become frail, their adult children find themselves in new and unfamiliar territory. It often becomes a struggle to:

• make decisions in the midst of  the crisis
• communicate with reluctant or disengaged siblings
• understand and arrange appropriate services
• keep or rebuild a healthy relationship with the parent
• maintain life balance and manage stress
  

“On the Journey”  services include Consultation and Assessment, Family Meeting Facilitation and Supportive Therapy.

CONSULTATION AND ASSESSMENT

Aging has become a complex process.  Understanding options in housing, navigating a maze of doctors and medical diagnoses, keeping up with appropriate forms — these are a few of the issues that an adult child may be called on to manage with little notice — or help.Consultation services, including a complete Person and Environment Assessment, are available to help identify problems, prioritize needs, answer questions, and find good solutions.  The assessment includes identification of social, emotional, and spiritual needs as well as medical and functional concerns.  

Services are scheduled as needed, in the office or by phone.  Assessments are done at home, for the comfort of the parent as well as completeness of information.

When a parent is in crisis, it challenges the relationship between siblings as they search for resources and manage care issues.  Geographical distance, differences in opinion about options,  even varied perspectives on the status and need of the parent may lead to conflicts at a time when trust and cooperation are vital.

A facilitated meeting brings the family together.  In these meetings, the facilitator makes sure that all voices are heard, differences are respected, and the well-being of the parent is at the center of the discussion.  Common concerns are identified and a plan for care is developed.
 
An initial family meeting usually lasts two or three hours.  Follow-up meetings, in person or on the phone, may be arranged on an as-needed basis.  In some instances, it is beneficial for the siblings to meet without the parent.  Location is flexible.

SUPPORTIVE THERAPY

To become a parent’s caregiver and ‘decider’ is to take on an entirely new role in the family.  Caregivers may feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable.   A parent who refuses to admit to increased need raises new barriers in the relationship.  Dementia confuses the communication.  Grief over losses, a health crisis, or the need to make critical decisions quickly are all factors that complicate the loving care we want to give our parents.

Individual therapy provides care for the caregiver through emotional support and help to set boundaries, cope with feelings of anger, guilt or depression, reduce stress, strengthen communication and improve self-care.

Therapy sessions are usually held weekly or bi-weekly in the office.  Services may be covered by health insurance. 

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All photos on this site are from my journeys; please do not reproduce them without permission.

Marcia Hinkle © 2007